It’s amazing how much someone can depend on sharing problems and talking when they’ve been involved in a relationship for a long time.
I’ve been in one for over 2 years and hearing that someone upset my partner and that she didn’t tell me through fear that it would hurt me as well as her really upset me last night.
But I woke up fine this morning…I thought.
Maybe it’s just a bad day, a day when the energy of the Earth is off balance or something like that, but by mid-morning I was in need of an intravenous endorphin drip – and that made me think…
Relationships are a lot like friendships, except for spending more time together as a couple (granted this isn’t always possible in a long-distance relationship).
Friends have a habit of looking out for each other, get along well, can occasionally fall out but can also sort out their differences for the better. Friends are there if you need to talk. They’re there if you need cheering up. Sometimes things don’t go well and all you want to see is a friendly face. Other times all you want to do is have your mind taken off your problems…
I’m just glad that the few people I really can call friends are amazing. I’m selective about who to call “friend”. I’ve been lonely most of my life and been disappointed more times than I care to remember…
All I’ve wanted to do is help people – their problems have always come before my own.
And so here I am, writing a blog, getting things off my chest so that anyone interested can read what I can’t seem to be able to say in person. Maybe it’s why I’ve become someone with such variable emotions…
Here I feel I can write anything I want where people can either judge me or help me out, slag me off or share their own thoughts and experiences. I look forward to reading a few comments. Comments from others really make a blog worthwhile.
Anyhow, here I am.
So sue me for wanting to be a friend you can rely on.
Cuddly toys? Boxes of chocolate? Cards? Getting some nookie? Finding someone to have a relationship with? Spending disproportionate amounts of money on a meal out in some over-the-top restaurant? Celebrating a Saint?
Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Let me describe as much as I know about the origins of this "festival".
It originates from a Roman feast called Lupercalia which occured between February 13th and 15th. Scholars still aren't sure about all the details, like which god it was dedicated to (saying that, the most likely god of this feast is Pan/Faunus and is also the one named by Ovid, through whom we know the most about Lupercalia), but we can be fairly sure that it was a feast of fertility and purification.
A special order of priests, called Luperci, would run around the Palatine Settlement in Rome completely naked and hit anyone they came across with a goatskin thong so as to ward off evil intentions and influences (also associated with the Paternalia which occured around the same time) and to promote fertility. The act of hitting a woman with this thong is thought to have represented sexual penetration. Of course the husband would have objected to his wife being really penetrated by a priest in the streets, so braking the skin with a symbol of fetility, like part of a goat, was considered just as effective. It is also thought that women were sometimes encouraged to be hit by "showing some skin". (These days something like this would be thought of as indecent exposure, porn or maybe even prostitution - more on this in a bit.)
So let's pick up the pieces: It was a fun event, with bodies freely and voluntarily exposed. There was food from the sacrificed goats. There was a component of fertility revolving around where the god Mars was said to have impregnated the mother of Romulus and Remus. There was another component about the origins of Rome and where the she-wolf suckled the twins.
So what's interesting about this picture? It's effectively a feast about sexuality, prostitution and getting offspring by any means possible. She-wolf is a latin term for prostitute (so next time you sing Shakira's song, please think about what you're singing...). The god Mars effectively raped the mother of Romulus and Remus. Women would get (symbolically) penetrated in the streets as if they were as good as prostitutes, all in the name of increased likelihood of getting pregnant.
So where did it go horribly "wrong"?
The Church got involved. It was no longer about purification of the city since plagues and evil doers were still around all through the festival. Celebrating sexuality?! NO! The body is a thing to be ashamed of because of all it's faults and so should be whipped in penitence not for penetration. The woman is no longer the object of desire and the key to your progeny, but evil incarnate!
How could this get any worse?
By making it into a feast of showing affection and care, love and attention. By going out and buying stuff for someone special. By putting as much effort into making Valentine's Day as consumer-oriented as Christmas or the end of season sales.
Showing someone that you care about them isn't about buying stuff. It's about you and them. It's about spending time together. Sure, you can still give them presents, but for once put some creativity into it - make it yourself. Do something PERSONAL and do it PERSONALLY. Don't have some poor, over-worked, under-paid child in China make something for you and millions of others around the world.
Oh, sure. Feel free to have sex, get into a relationship or show yourself some love by either pleasuring yourself or by respecting your body and accepting yourself for who you are on every level (and to this effect I recommend the video on the right).
Just remember, if you want to see your significant other smile sincerely it's worth doing something yourself or just being you without trying to be pretentious or excessive. A single flower (not necessarily a rose, maybe their favourite flower is better *hint*) will probably do! Sitting down to watch a film your other half wants to watch with you but you've never really wanted to watch will also do since it's not about the film but the spending time together!
Yea. Semester 1 was not fun. Exams have been horrible and stressful.
It’s about time I got to change modules. I’ve had it up to way over my head with quantum mechanics at the minute.
On the plus side I did get Lacuna Coil’s new album through the post! =)
It’s just brilliant!!!!
Also, I had a bit of a brainwave the other day. If Physics doesn’t take me anywhere or I fail it miserably at it, I can always become a full time blogger. Genius!right? -___-" What do you guys think?
At the minute I just need to sort out how I’m going to make money off this, but hell: you readers are my only care at the mo. No point trying to earn money off something that no one reads, right?
Anyway, last thing… I just wanted to share a track off Dark Adrenaline that hit me lyrically as well as musically.
“Intoxiated” – Lacuna Coil
Lie.
Broken mirror, Seven years of stolen luck. I try to fix you one more time But I must let it die, The dream that we’d survive. Cut my throat if I tell a lie.
Set it free, Lost ambition. I overthought my place in your life. Set it free, Superstition. I gave up on this fairy tale lie.
Blind man’s wisdom. Cross my heart but it’s a lie. I kept us going the last time. You used one of your nine lives I gave up all of mine. Cut my throat if I tell a lie.
In the world that I created, I’m intoxicated.
Set it free, Lost ambition And now I won’t look back, I’ve turned my back. I’m off the ground. Set it free, Superstition. And now the air I breathe is poison free. I’m freedom bound.
And with this, I’ll leave you until my next entry.
Is there anything you guys want me to write about? I also have a channel on Youtube where I could upload extra stuff and even mention you while answering questions. http://youtube.com/youvebeenhelpdesked
That’s all for now! PW )O(
I recently spotted this question on social networking site Diaspora*. At first glance I thought “This guy is stupid.” but actually it allowed me to think of why I don’t really agree with the options given. Here’s the original post:
“On a personal level, would you rather live in a world where everybody was nice to each other, or a world in which everybody conformed to your ideals? (and if your only ideal is that everybody be nice to each other, blessed be, this question is not for you)”
As you can see the obvious comment would be “Go away. This is a false dichotomy. Lol…you’re an idiot.”
It really does sound like a question with two identical answers.
Even after trying to see the subtleties between the two, which I make out to be either everyone nice to each other and living in a Socialist-Utopia (ie. everyone masking their true feelings) or everyone being nice to me and living in a Utopia created around me (everyone masking their true feelings, bar me - admit it, egocentric ideals in everyone wish that you didn't have to change but everyone else had to change and be nice to you), I can't understand why any reasonable person would want EITHER option.
Society wouldn't advance either way.
Society advances with shared ideals, individuality, small conflicts and the truces that are called afterwards. This is why the world isn't black and white.
From two or more people having different opinions on the same subject, others follow the various opinions based on their own ideas. A common set of ideas is formed in each group (and obviously not everyone approves all ideas) which then tries to win backing from other groups. Where ideas meet secondary groups are formed, where ideas diverge there is division from groups and the cycle is started again.
It's not politics. It's the human way of thinking and forming groups within society. You wouldn't have friends if you didn't share ideals and opinions, but you have disagreements with them when your values differ from theirs.
What are your ideas?
Feel free in the comments to share them or maybe even share what your reply to the post would be.
You really became friends when he had a bad break up and you stopped him from cutting himself or jumping in front of a bus.
Your friendship grew and soon you had similar interests, went to the same gym, went around with the same group of people every Saturday night – pretty much like twin brothers.
You hear that he’s not really a good guy, that he’s been known to be violent, known to talk shit, but you don’t care…he’s like a brother to you.
And then you hear (from your cousin of all people) that he’s talking shit about you (to her), like you’re “on a leash” and won’t go out because of your girlfriend. You should have seen it coming, you already knew (almost), but it hits you all the same.
Time for a rethink…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hell, you don’t know shit about me.
I’m not upset, I’m disappointed.
Disappointed that I wasted time on you, thinking that you were worth something.
Disappointed that it took me 4 years to realise just how fake you are. I thought we were good friends.
I was just wondering how to classify a change for the better in my life as opposed to something just going right.
My computer died the other week. I played with it too much and messed up the boot labels. I was so fed up, you may remember the previous post. (No? You can always look back at it if you want.)
Just recently I've started chatting to someone who works within my Uni, when I have a minute and she's up for a quick chat, and she puts me in a right cheerful mood! (Thanks Sanja!)
Just the other day I had a right awful day - car had to be jump started, forgot my phone in plain sight in my car, couldn't get any studying done - so I just stopped, decided I needed some time to chill and meditate and only then would I go home. Went up to see her and ask if there was a room where I could do just that.
Honestly, I do find that it's the small things that make me feel better. She asked what was up and gave me a few bits of advice after I finished talking to my spirit guide.
Something seems to be going right again at least. Work is still a right bugger, but at east other things seem to be going right in some way, shape or form.
Now I just wish I had a e few hundred thousand more hair follicles successfully producing hair on my head.
I guess some things you just can't solve like that.
Well! Where do I start?
Things haven't been going well, and today has just topped it all off.
My netbook has died. Looks like the BIOS needs flashing. I don't have time for it. I need my data off that computer ASAP. Yet, I have no time and no resources. F***.
Got a book out of the library thinking it would help me study. It's a terrible read and it's not helping me at all. Also, 50p to reserve the damn thing and I already had a copy of the key parts. WASTE of time.
Was so fed up just before lunch that I punched the wall going upstairs. My hand hurts quite badly now.
